A Heavy Heart

I'll start by saying that I am writing this post with a heavy heart.

On the way home last night, I was listening to a song that basically talked about going through storms in your life and when everything is down knowing your strength comes from the Lord. I was listening to that song thinking having a child really puts things into perspective. Things that were such a big deal before, aren't any longer. It's amazing how something so small can make such a big impact. I also started thinking that anything I have been through in my life at this point is minor compared to what some families I know either personally or through the "blogsphere" are going through. I am amazed and in awe of people who sit by watching their child fight a sickness or newborns fight to live and still praise God in the midst of it. I would like to think that I would be able to do the same thing if it ever were to happen to me, but honestly, I don't know if I could. It would be very hard- its much easier to say than do.

Sometimes I have to stop reading other blogs or thinking about people I know going through things with their kids because it just breaks my heart- I have nightmares about something happening to Ava and while I know that God is in control and he can see the big picture that I can't, I don't know what I would do if something were to happen to Adam or Ava. I know we have been through times when we wondered if we were going to make it out a live, but its amazing how after you travel through it and look back you see it wasn't as bad as it could have been or as bad as what someone else may be facing. I have a heavy heart because I look around my life and realize I have a great life. I have a wonderful family, I have great job that I am fortunate to be able to bring Ava with me everyday, I have food in my cabinets, I have a roof over my head and we are currently house hunting and some of the homes we are looking at are ones we never would have dreamed we would ever be able to afford. I don't say all this to pat myself on the back I say all this to say that last night I felt an overwhelming burden for the people who are struggling. In today's economy there are so many people losing their jobs and homes on top of those who are facing death in their families and to think that I was frustrated because Ava wouldn't go to sleep last night and I had to fight with her for 2 1/2 hours....I just wanted everyone who reads this post to think of those people (whether you know them personally or not) and say a prayer for God to comfort them and give them the strength they need to make it through each day.

I know that right now my family is on a mountaintop and that everything is looking good and that there will be a day where a storm will come and knock us down, I pray that when those days come that I will be able to stand and say that my strength comes from the Lord and that he will be the one I turn to when everything falls apart.